Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A very special phenomenon.

Finals week does funny things to you. It makes you have hopping contests down the hallway that end in an uncontrollable case of the giggles outside someone else's door. It makes you bake more food than anyone needs to eat. It gives you dreams about softening butter by sitting on it, and about friends who drive many miles to see you, then scale the wall of your dorm to tell you happy birthday through your window. But mostly, it screws up your eating schedule.

Example: yesterday.
9:30 - breakfast in my RA's room: apple-banana oatmeal bake. Nutritional value: adequate, not awesome.
11:30 - about five or six (3-inch) ginger biscotti from a Secret Santa gift. Nutritional value: are you kidding me right now?
2:57 - realization that they stop serving salads in three minutes, run to get one, and eat the chocolate chip cookie bar in line because "there's no place for it in my salad box!" All this is followed by the realization that I'm not hungry enough to eat the salad now. Nutritional value (of cookie bar): even better than the biscotti.
7:30 - a couple more ginger biscotti to finish off the box with roommate and co. Swear off sweet foods for lyfe. Nutritional value of biscotti: just as great as it was eight hours ago.
9:00 - finally get around to eating the salad.  Nutritional value: probably worse than I'd like to think, but infinitely better than anything else I've eaten, so nobody cares.

Example 2: today.
9:30 - breakfast after my chem final: wait, the dining hall calls these cupcakes "muffins"? Excellent! Also, a little yogurt and granola, plus a wee bit of hash browns for "balance." Nutritional value: better than yesterday.
12:30 - kids meal at Chick-fil-A. Nuggetz 4 da win. Nutritional value: meh. It's tasty.
2:30 - decision to make parmesan black pepper biscotti to counteract yesterday's sweeter variety. Probably ate five nine of the little guys over the course of the afternoon and evening. Nutritional value: sugar-free, right?
9:00 - going-away party for a girl who's transferring: chips and salsa, a gluten- and dairy- and sugar-free brownie. Nutritional value: rotten.
9:45 - exam treats: "pretzels and beer," which were decidedly subpar and disappointing. Nutritional value: lousy as usual.

ALL of this to say that my life needs a little help right now - help that doesn't come in the form of cookies or cakes. Because this is ridiculous. (On the upside, those parmesan biscotti were crazy good, and you should all go make them now.)

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