You know, I was just kidding about the turkey. We're actually going for some duck instead. But first, I learned something about turkeys! More accurately, about the pop-up timers that are jammed in them. Inside them is a tiny spring (tiny!) held in its compressed position by an epoxy that melts at a specific temperature -- in the case of turkey, usually 181 degrees. Epoxy melts, spring goes pop, turkey continues to cook, nobody's happy except Butterball.
But all this is irrelevant because we're eating duckies! And other side dishes that, according to some family members, are "too weird." Excuse me, but we've got to expand people's horizons somehow (including my own), and when you're off in Illinois for eight months out of the year, you have to take the opportunities you can get. So decisions have been made, food will be tasty, and people will like it more than they expect. Mark my word.